
Key Tere Beher Kee Maujon Mein Iztiraab Naheen
May God Bring a Storm in Your Life
(As) There is No Agitation in the Waves of Your Life’s Ocean
- Allama Iqbal
***
I came across this couplet in 1989. The message resonated with me so much that I had it inscribed on a plaque; it’s been a fixture in my offices since. Back then, the maker of the plaque was amused at my request, wondering what kind of man would wish a tempest into his own life. I always tried to interpret storms in my life as opportunities for self-growth: 2014 really challenged this perspective.
Last year, my storm was flanked by what felt like multiple gail-force winds: being diagnosed with advanced lung cancer, then having doctors tell me how long I had to live, then reading that lung cancer takes more lives yearly than colon, breast and prostate cancer combined. As I contemplated more and more on the wisdom behind the couplet, I realized I needed to view this storm as an invitation to self-awakening - a wake- up call imploring me to take on a journey closer to my heart’s desires.
The great philosopher Gurdjieff once said that in order for one to come out of prison, first and foremost, one has to realize that he is in prison. The prison he was referring to is the web created by strands of negative and depressing thoughts and the fear of the unknown, thus creating pain and suffering.
As a result of entrapment in such a web, hopelessness takes over, thus feeding the illusion that the web is impenetrable. In India, the web of attachment to negative emotions is called entrapment by "mayajaal" (net of illusions) preventing a person finding his/her true self. The word illusion points to the fact that the web is created by mental formations. These formations can be made to disappear by looking deeply into the nature of them. Therefore, one is directed to view life’s experiences with wisdom, but without attachment to goals. This is the first step in the journey towards awakening.
A story I heard a long time ago has been an inspiration for me to keep this aforementioned perspective in my life. I’m not sure how the original exactly goes…. like any truly great story, I feel as if it’s now my own:
An old man often used to ride his mule by sitting backwards. People used to chuckle at him and ask him to explain his unorthodox methods. He would say, “By riding backwards I am meditating on experiences on the journey without attachment to success, failure, or any emotional turmoil.”
One day, a crowd of onlookers asked him, “Aren’t you destined to fall off?” He responded, “Since destiny depends on many factors that I can’t control, I focus on the experience…. that’s what counts.”
An old friend asked him, “Isn’t your ride meaningless if you can’t focus on the destination?” The old man responded, "Most people end up reaching a destination that is way different than their wishes. In my journey, I will experience good, but also experience illness, rejection, loss of material wealth, and even the death of loved ones. These incidences are always lurking in the shadows, sometimes beside me and sometimes just a step behind.”
His friend exclaimed, “That’s terrible!!!” Riding away, the old man said, “Maybe… or maybe the heartbreaks during my journey will create openings for entry of compassion in my heart. Just as I chose how to ride, the meaning I take from experiences is totally in my control.”
In Zen Buddhism, it is said that enlightenment is impermanent. There is no guarantee that raw feelings of fear and vulnerability will stay out of your mind. It is only by constant practice of self-compassion and feeling the presence of your true nature that these feelings will diminish. The higher being has provided the path to every sentient being that leads to an awakened life.
Sometimes the mountain is hidden from me in the veils of the clouds,
sometimes I am hidden from the mountain in the veils of inattention, apathy, fatigue,
when I refuse to go
down to the shore or a few yards, up the road on a clear day,
to reconfirm
that witnessing presence
-Denise Levertov
The awakened self then becomes like a brook meandering through a valley of experiences, absorbing tributaries of new experiences without attachment, joyfully moving towards merging with a higher self.